When I was in Year 5, I got bored during Story Time (here meaning: our terrible teacher telling us every detail of what happened in Eastenders the night before) and spotted a lump of thick solid glue on the floor. It had obviously been a drop from a glue gun, when we were doing crafts earlier in the day. It was like a perfect teeny marble, about the size of a 5p coin. I started fiddling with it, and eventually (don’t ask me how), it ended up in my right ear. Then, somehow, it stayed comfortably lodged in my ear for 3 years. I had it removed when I was in Year 8, via syringe in my GP’s surgery. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but oh my goodness it was totally worth it for the feeling of relief in that moment. I could hear again! My ear felt so free! I remember thinking ‘I must take better care of my ears, from now on.’
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Cut to nearly 15 years later (ouch) and I haven’t given my ears any proper care since. I do that awful thing of sticking a bud in after a shower now and again, while I still have some water in there, but that’s about it. A friend of mine told me they went to an ear clinic (pre-pandemic) and it was a life-changing experience, having their ears well and truly doted upon. It seems like such a luxury, but it doesn’t have to be! Seriously. Put down the towel, the olive oil and the spoon, and let’s go through some super fun facts about your amazing ears…
Y’know your outer ear? Well, it never. stops. growing. How wild is that? And we laugh at babies that have huge ears – I think we should be super kind to them, the poor things.
Here’s one you probably already knew, but if you didn’t, be prepared – it may ruin a bit of childhood magic for you. Okay, ready? The ‘sound of the sea’ that you hear, when you press a shell to your ear? That’s actually the sound of blood rushing through your veins. I mean, that may be the science of it, but I personally prefer to cling on to the magical mermaid stories…
This one is a bit gross, but I think it will help some people… wearing a pair of headphones for just an hour can give you 700 times more bacteria in your ears. Yep. Sit with that for a bit.
Last one is kinda cool; your ears never stop hearing, even when you sleep. I feel like I heard this years ago on come CBBC show – or actually maybe I didn’t hear it, I probably had glue in my ear at the time. So, your brain makes a conscious decision to ignore sound when it goes into sleep mode, to make sure you aren’t disturbed (any more than usual, anyway).
How do we feel about these facts? They’re pretty amazing, if you ask me. And there are so many more, but I’ll leave you to listen out for them… I think we can all agree our ears are incredible, and definitely worthy of the highest standard of care. I’ll be making it a resolution, when we come out of lockdown #26 or whatever, to treat myself and book in an appointment with Auris Ear Care, the ear wax removal clinic in Harley Street. My ears deserve the very best treatment, after the absolute nonsense they’ve had to hear in the past year! Check out Auris now if you feel the same, or maybe want to treat a loved one who struggles with their hearing.